Confucius Say

1. Woman who goes to man’s apartment for snack, gets titbit.

2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

4. Man who kisses girl’s behind, gets crack in face.

5. Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.

6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.

7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

8. Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.

9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.

11. Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can’t walk.

12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.

13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

14. Man with penis in peanut butter is ------- nuts.

15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.

17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.

H2, You said it, Confucius did not say that! he he he
　

Where does 孔子 come from?

　

>Where does 孔子 come from?

Mnnnnn.....China?　(¨;)

I’m sure you know that already, Kazu.

For those who don’t have a clue,

孔子＝孔夫子＝Confucius

中国の春秋期（紀元前、詳しく年号は知らんやんかぁ・・汗）に儒教を作った思想家先生。　敬先祖、愛他、重礼、道徳、仁丹・・爆、日本の武士道や精神性にもブイブイ・インパクト与えたおやっさん。日本人男が現代でも頑固なのは彼のせい。

中2で日本を脱出し、漢文教わってない僕にはここら辺ぐらいまでしかわかりまへん・・詳しくはハリファックスのおやじさんに聞く事。

>and again, Where does 孔子 come from?

Well...
H2注：英会話で、（トピの例題の様に）ありもしないでっち上げ論語を述べて笑いをとる場合：’Confucius say ・・・・’ 「孔子様曰クゥゥゥ〜・・」とチャイニーズ訛りで言いはじめる場合が多い。

Confucius say, woman who goes fishing trip with 3 other men comes back with a big red-snapper. 　

勉強した。
I always confuse 孔子 with 老子、愛子、友子。 so many 子! I also confuse that who is female and who is male、but that’s fine who cares.

Kazu say, Real men love girl’s magic breast and magic ass.
　

孔子は 童貞です(same as you Hip2 san)。How did he know that kind of words?