自分で書いた英文をチェックしてください、お願いします。
この文です↓↓↓ちょっと長いですけどお願いします。

This picture is advertisement of gum.
Target market is wider range of age, and also customer who, is a family, a child, an adult, an old consumer a student, a business man, a sightseer, frequently use bus. In Vancouver people usually using it. It is famous transportation.
When consumer waiting for a bus, they maybe watch this advertisement. It is advantage.

Showing the color of the gum, people getting attention and also want to eat it psychologically, because color is light red. Even though consumers just walking to this place then see it, it made impression later.

This product is not expensive. It tends to be cheap, so consumers get it and try to purchase easily. However this market is very competitive, and market cycle is short, so the company should create it.

です。お願いいたします。

なんか説得力のない文ですね。ポイントもまとまってない。チェックしろといわれても、どこから始めればいいか…全体的にダメです。このレベルだと先生に見てもらったほうがいいと思いますよ。普通にカナダ人でも直せないよ。がんばってください。 　

まぁ言わんとしている事はわかります。ESLクラスのプレゼンテーションか何かでしょうか？なら先生が文の組み立て方、単語の選び方など、指摘してくれると思います。
もし万一ビジネス絡みなのであれば、誰かに頼んで書き直してもらったほうが良いです。 　

This is a picture of a gum advertisement.
The target market for this product has a wide age range. It includes, for example, families, children, adults, seniors, students, businessmen, tourists, and others who frequently use the bus. Vancouver is famous for high usage of public transportation. Many people view the ad while waiting for the bus. Therefore, bus station ads are a popular advertising venue.

Showing the colour of the gum draws attention and creates a psychological sensation of hunger because of the gum’s light red colour. Even if a person just sees the ad while walking past the location, it makes an impression that may result in a purchase at a later time.

This product is not expensive. Because of its low price, consumers can purchase it easily. However, since the market for this type of product is very competitive, and the product cycle is short, _______ (ここに「その会社が作るべきだ」って、意味が分かりません）


早く訂正したから完璧じゃないかもしれないけど、まあこんなかんじかな。

色々内容を説明したいけど、Res1, Res2が書いた通り、長過ぎて今回はできません。

まずは「consumer」と「person」の微妙な違いを確認しておいてください。 　

なんか図々しいお願いじゃない？
おカネ払って個人的に見てもらえば？ 　

横レスですが
「consumer」と「person」の違いって何なんですか？