iam canadian chinese.Here is the story. I met a Japanese girl last month. At first I thought she was cute and I was interested in her culture. I studied Japanese culture a bit and so i ask her go out for few times. but she always give me some excuse.infact idid not think any thing about "KO I".i just ask her for a dinner. but she think that is a big deal.befor i ask her for a dinner.we chat on MSN. phonecall and massege . i thought we are friend already.she was nice just like my sister .one day i have a quarrel with my grilfriend.i was feeling bad.and i told that jp gril.she comforted me. but now days she is very "tus me ta i".i don’t know why?

quesion 1 go out for a dinner is a big thing or not?
quesion 2 are there some real reason can not tell me?
quesion 3 boys and grils can not just be friends?

Because she doesn’t like you as a person not as a man.
Could you use proper English? 　

それは。。。あなたがいけないんだから。 If she doesn:t like you I think it is a good idea to give up. It can be a real nuisance for somebody to be kept being asked out after the first time they say no.

Japanese people try to be polite to you so maybe she didn’t want to tell you outright that she doesn’t like you on the phone and when she gave you her email. I think she feels uncomfortable if you are constantly trying to contact her so I think you should leave her alone from now on.

There is a lot of women out there so you can definitely find your match, just because you studied Japanese culture doesnt mean she will be automatically attracted to you.

-Luigi "ハンサム-様" Bellisimo 　

It’s kind of obvious. She doesn’t want to hang out with you.

If you studied Japanese culture I think you will understand that Japanese people are very bad at saying NO. It’s just not in their nature to say NO. So they come up with other excuses to avoid you.

Stop bugging her 　

Did you come to canada for refugee? Do you have valid passport and visa here? 　

canadian chinese?????
　

CBCのわりに…英語がね〜。
だいたい下心がないならそんなに彼女に冷たくされたくらいで悩まないと思うけど…
I can say 3 words for you....

Forget about her. 　

You ask a girl out and she gives you an excuse, again and again, it is obvious that she is saying "No" in an indirect way.

>quesion 1 go out for a dinner is a big thing or not?

It depends. If a girl likes the boy a lot, it is a big deal (she would be excited). If she sees him as a friend, it is not a big deal at all (it would be a regular dinner meeting). If she does NOT like him not even as a friend, it is a big deal (she wants to avoid to share a dinner table with him).

In your case, I feel that she tries to avoid you. The problem is that Japanese don’t use the word "No" because it is rude, instead they "imply" No. I think it is almost very clear that she is saying No silently.

>quesion 2 are there some real reason can not tell me?

No one can answer the question because we don’t know anything about you other than what you wrote. But my guess is, she is just trying to avoid you for whatever reason. Her being nice to you does not mean she accepts you as a friend. Everyone is nice when they see someone vulnerable.

>quesion 3 boys and grils can not just be friends?

Yes they can. But does it mean all boys and girls are automatically freinds? No. We all choose friends based on personality, compatibility etc etc. Maybe you guys are simply not a good match as friends.

There are many people you can make friends with. Stop bothering her and find a new friend.
　

彼女が冷たくなったのは・・・あなたが彼女のことをJapanese Grilと呼んでいるからです。Grilfriendを持ってるようなヘンな男とは関わりたくないからです。 　

It all depends but I wouldnt go to dinner with a boy that I don’t feel so comfortable with. If you want to respect her culture, you should ask her for lunch for the first time. You should do so especially if you dont want her to mistake your intention to be her friend. A proper distance between people is very important among Japanese people.

However, if you had been her type or she’d felt very comfortable with you as a friend, she would’ve gone to dinner with you.

Is she new to here? If so, she might’ve just wanted to speak English to you.

Just move on and try not go to dinner with a Japanse girl from the beginning if you just want to be her friend and you have a girlfriend. Doesn’t make a sense.