Several years ago, I met a Japanese guy whom I became friends with and then spent a great night with him while I was casually dating another person. This Japanese guy and I had a mutual understanding that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere and we stopped seeing each other. However we have kept in touch and meet up atleast once a year for dinner/coffee.

I have been single now for the past little while and thought that maybe I should give him a call, to see if we still had a spark for each other...we had dinner, spent a night together and I felt great the next morning. Then it dawned on me, I never asked him if he was in a relationship.....The same night I chatted with him and to my dissapointment, he is dating someone... so I logged off and never told him that I was single because it didn’t matter anymore.

I feel confused, disappointed and a little mad that he would decide to spend the night with me...I feel like a silly woman. Should I still stay in touch?

I am really sorry to hear that. But I think if he is just dating someone ,seems like you still have a chance. Depend on how serious he is though.I don’t know how long ago you guys were in that relationship like spending night and having a dinner? If it is really long time ago, I don’t know....You should tell him how you feel at first. Nobody know what he think. He is only the person who knows the answer. Good luck! 　

Well, you said,
>while I was casually dating another person

So you did the same thing that he did long time ago when you guys were seeing each other. Did he know about that?

Also you said,
>This Japanese guy and I had a mutual understanding that the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere and we stopped seeing each other.

To my underdtanding, he also understand that you guys have no future as a couple, right?

I wonder what you really want and he might not know what you really want neither. I thought that you just want a casual relationship. Is that what you want? Or you want a serious relationship? You are sigle so you want to see someone, is that because you are lonely? In that case, I am afraid to tell you this, but you are a bit selfish. You have been known each other, maybe he was nice enough to accept your offer(to spend a night) even though he was seeing someone, you know? Maybe it was his kindness to make you feel little better, even so he knew it was only for a night thing. donno. Or did he ask you to spend a night?

If you are disappointed just because he was seeing someone without telling you, maybe you shouldn’t really see him any more because I don’t hear this whole thing sounds fare.

If you stay in touch, you should be completely forgive him and appreciate that he is being a good friend of yours. if you are feeling still silly reading this, then just forget about him, and find another. 　

Yeah, as res2 said he did the same thing as what you had done before. I can understand how you felt when you figured out what he did with another lady. However, please ask yourself if you confessed him before he dated with another lady? If not, he mightn’t have thought he’s had some special relationship with you. Anyway, don’t give up if you still have feeling. He might’ve just wanted to spend times with someone else. 　

Part of me says "if he wanted to go steady with you then he would’ve asked you a long time ago knowing how great he’s making you feel". I think you should.. try and see if you can get a threesome going there.. 　

Thanks for the replies!! Just to clarify, when we first met, I was casually dating, meaning I had not commited to a relationship with anyone, just going out and getting to know one another. I had been honest with him and he understood where I was coming from. I guess he felt that I didn’t want to be with him and then stopped pursuing. A year later he did ask to be with me and was ok that I was seeing someone else. I sadly declined because i was in a commited relationship and didn’t want betray my then boyfriend and now....he is in a relationship but would choose to spend the night with me. kind of funny, just bad timing. I don’t know if we will have a future if he wasn’t seeing anyone now...I guess i feel a little disappointed that I didn’t know he was dating someone.... 　

a threesome would be nice i guess....LOL 　

Just tell him what you think, what you want to him, then see what will happen,
maybe he dosen’t have think about like yours but If you tell him what your mind, he’ll think about like yours. and that never be bad.
well possible he ain’t no think like yours right now but who knows in future
Try before gone